Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Idiots

Is there any limit to the ignorance and idiocy of homebirth midwives? It doesn't seem like it. When presented with a transverse lie, ruptured membranes, and prolapse of the baby's arm, these morons tried to "fix it." It was lucky that the cord did not prolapsed along with the arm.

Leaving aside the fact that the midwife had so little idea of what she was doing that she failed to diagnose a transverse lie (always undeliverable) at the beginning of labor, she actually moved the mother around, as if that was going to change anything. It is a miracle that she didn't manage to cause the cord to prolapse, and the baby's death. Astoundingly, even in retrospect, the midwife and the doula still don't get it. The doula who was there is still prattling about what a "courageous" warrior the mother was. The mother probably has no clue that the baby survived despite the midwife's ignorant efforts to kill it.

Consider:
The birth was straight forward, planned homebirth, baby decided to wave, hand hanging out (and grasping!) of mom's vagina ...

I knew that when she said she felt fingers in her vagina that we would transport, even before the midwife. The midwife thought it was a nuchal arm, I knew that it wasn't. I watched the midwife do Midwifery and I was impressed with her skill and knowledge and so affirmed that I do NOT want to be a midwife. I used to want to be the keeper of that knowledge ...
What knowledge? The midwife could not diagnose a prolapsed arm even when it was waving at her.
I have never seen a woman be so willing to try such odd things and she was positively graceful and acrobatic in her flexibility, not only in her spirit but in her body. She walked into the place of her greatest, deepest fears and she cried hard but she didn't run away- the word "Courageous" isn't big enough...

I can't say after my cesarean that a cesarean is 'worth it', it sounds trite and small now that I know the true sacrifice a cesarean is. Mothers are warriors and this mama, she fought and fought and her baby and she came through safely, however scarred.
"Fought and fought," "scarred"? What? They still dont understand that the only alternative was death for both the baby and the mother. They still have no idea that the worst thing to do in the case of a prolapsed body part is to move the mother around.

A prolapsed arm is an emergency. It is a miracle that the baby survived the "care" of this midwife. The midwife had literally no idea what was happening, and probably still doesn't. Direct entry midwives are grossly undereducated and grossly undertrained. What's most amazing about homebirth midwifery is not that the neonatal mortality rate is triple that of hospital birth, it's that the neonatal mortality rate is not even higher.

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