So much for intuitionAs I've written many times before, intuition is not another "way of knowing." Intuition, as venerated by homebirth advocates, is merely a way to glorify ignorance. Not surprisingly, the very same forums and message boards that promote childbirth intuition are the source of a never ending parade of example that intuition among homebirth advocates is worse than worthless. Of the 14 homebirth deaths thus far on MDC this year, not one mother had any intuition that anything was wrong. Indeed, a number of them ignored known risk factors and even actual warning from their own practitioners.
As tragic as these demonstrations of the uselessness of intuition are, a far more impressive example is a story like this, written at 30 weeks of pregnancy:
...I'm in an interesting situation: I understand [my husband's] need for wanting to get the pregnancy confirmed and we've found a place nearby that will do ultrasounds. I didn't want to do it before I opened my heart because I felt that it was a dishonor to my spirit ... Now ... I know it means a lot to him and I know it will help bring us closer (with the pregnancy, at least). However, another part of me feels this might take away from the magic of bringing a baby into the world. What are your feelings on this?Followed by:
Also, he is scared of being the only other adult present while I'm giving birth. He seemed very trusting during the pregnancy with our son, but once active labor set in he became very stressed and anxious. He's not as trusting of his own body so it's very challenging for him to have faith that I am very in tune with my intuition/body and will be able to give birth safely and easily... I really would like him to feel comfortable this time around, but I also would like to honor my soul. What would you do in this situation?
So I went to get an ultrasound yesterday and no baby was detected. The sonographer tried a few times just to make sure. I was in total shock and yet, not, given all the weird circumstances surrounding this "pregnancy". I just can't quite put my head around what has been going on inside of me, though. My intuition has been so strong about being pregnant, coupled with all the usual symptoms, plus weight gain, feeling the "baby" kick on a regular basis (I've been pregnant before, so I know the difference between gas, muscle twitches, my imagination, and a baby kicking), I've had a number of signs in the outer world that I am, in fact, carrying a baby, my abdomen is the only part of me that gained inches, which is an indicator that I'm not simply getting fat, but I never got a positive hpt, I've still been bleeding regularly, and now the ultrasound shows that there is no baby. What the?!?! ...