The Let's Pretend Birth Is Safe ConferenceThe Let's Pretend Birth is Safe Conference (aka the Trust Birth Conference) is coming in March. I can't wait. It promises an endless stream of misinformation, wishful thinking and inane pronouncements for me to write about. It is essentially a giant festival of magical thinking: if we all wish really, really hard, birth will be safe. Death in childbirth is just a failure of the imagination.
The website kicks it off with a goofy talking avatar and a silly motto: Living Like We Believe It, as if believing makes it so.
Sarah Buckley writes [ and I translate from homebirthspeak to English]:
Be informed by the hard evidence from Henci Goer, whose ability to summarize and critique the medical studies is among the best in the world. [Be tricked by Henci Goer whose ability to manipulate those who do not understand statistics is legendary.]
Be challenged by Michel Odent, who asks if humanity can survive our current obstetric practices. [Be flattered by a person who has no scientific evidence for his vicious, meanspirited claims that women who have C-sections can't bond with their babies.]
Be trusting of birth and its safety for mother and baby, as Sarah Buckley gives you the medical evidence and the amazing hormonal story of why birth is safe and intervention is risky. [Sarah Buckley tells you that she pretended and it worked out fine. That means that you must pretend and it will work fine for you, too.]
Be nourished in your practice by Jan Tritten, editor of the wonderful magazine Midwifery Today who will share 'The wisdom of the grandmothers': what midwives all over the world know about the safety, sacredness and importance of birth. [Listen to made up hysterical drivel that has no basis in fact.]...
Be inspired by Debby Takikawa and her film "What babies want" which distills the evidence for gentle treatment of babies – and support for parents. [Be indoctrinated by a woman who has the hubris to actually believe that she speaks for babies, while in reality she is speaking for mothers, their needs, their wishes and their desires.]...
Be educated outside the box with midwife Gail Hart’s workshop as she discusses whether Gestational Diabetes is a scare tactic or a legitimate concern. [It's not enough to pretend that uncomplicated births are safe. Now you can learn how to pretend that complications don't exist.]...
Be immunized against false information on immunization, as Kristi Zittle shares wisdom about the risks of immunization and the benefits of natural immunity. [Be bombarded with pseudoscience by the vaccine rejectionists, the people who just make it up as they go along.]...
Be expanded in your mind and pelvis as Gloria Lemay shares her amazing pelvic perspective, in 'Pelvises I have known and loved.' (based on one my all-time favourite articles.) [Be misinformed by a woman who has presided over the homebirth deaths of multiple babies, is not trained as a midwife, and rejects the idea of formal midwifery training. Isn't she a great role model?]
Be safe or not: what does safety in birth mean, and how does it apply to birth choices? Join Rixa Freeze who is writing her PhD on the unassisted birth movement. [Listen to her justify her own personal choices; perhaps she will withhold evidence, misrepresent evidence and pretending that death is compatible with "safety", just as she has done recently on her blog.]
Be adventurous and discover more about why women stay at home alone, choosing unassisted birth. Panel with Rixa and other freebirth advocates and mamas. [Learn how women risk their babies' lives to be able to boast about the stunt of unassisted childbirth.]
You just can't make this stuff up. This is going to be great!