How it feels to be criticized
I just came across a remarkable post on another blog. The author is hurt and upset about the comments made about midwives by an advocate of unassisted birth. What is striking to me is how her complaints are almost exactly the same as those made by obstetricians about DEMs. I have quoted a very large section of her post, and then rewritten it from the perspective of an obstetrician.Hessel made the comment that the birth was a typical fear-based midwife birth full of interventions and a lack of belief in the natural course of birth…An obstetrician could write exactly the same piece, albeit with a few changes:
I understand why some women choose UC – those that have been so hurt by the medical or midwifery community especially. I understand that some women feel they know as much as a midwife … and want to UC as a show of autonomy from the medical and midwifery standards of care…
Hessel, … says that there isn’t a “normal” community that finds intimacy and nudity amongst strangers anywhere in the world. I found this astonishingly ignorant considering there are a number of communities in the United States that have just such standards of comfort and normalcy...
I am baffled by the lengths women will go and still call their births unassisted or even unhindered…
Isn’t listening to your child with a Doppler interference? Shouldn’t your instincts tell you all is well? Why learn how to measure blood loss? If you faint, it’s too much, right?
Why do women prepare their husbands for complications? Why would they put their partners through the extremely important task of learning how to be a midwife in less than 9 months? How can anyone who’s never been to a birth (or more than a handful) possibly be prepared for complications? …
It’s hard being judged by people who don’t even know me or my style of midwifery…
Apparently, midwives can’t possibly understand the distress women feel about their births because it is sometimes years before the woman has an inkling of the anger and sadness her birth experience evoked…
I think I would be better able to offer a nod … towards UC as a viable choice .. if the women and their partners involved were really informed about what they are choosing to do… – how birth can be extremely unpredictable (don’t I sound like a doctor! it makes me laugh hearing my voice say these words)...
Much of Hessel’s comments stung because she doesn’t know how far I have come as a midwife. She doesn’t know I work SO hard …
I keep listing things and then thinking, “It doesn’t matter. It is never enough. I’m a midwife... Birth will never be pure until I am not there.” …
DEMs say that hospital birth is a typical fear-based medical birth full of interventions and a lack of belief in the natural course of birth.
I understand why some women choose homebirth – those that have been so hurt by the medical community especially. I understand that some DEMs feel they know as much as an obstetrician and want to homebirth as a show of autonomy from the medical system.
DEMs say that the risk of homebirth is minimal because birth is natural. I find this astonishingly uninformed considering the high rate of neonatal and maternal death before the advent of modern obstetrics, and even today in places where modern obstetrics is not available.
I am baffled by the lengths women will go and still call their births natural. Is listening with a Doppler natural? Is checking blood pressure natural?
Why do DEMs prepare for complications? Why do they think they can master the extremely important task of learning obstetrics in such a short time? How can anyone who’s been to so few births possibly be prepared for complications?
It’s hard being judged by people who don’t even know me or my style of practice. Apparently, obstetricians can’t possibly understand the distress women feel about their births because it is sometimes years before the woman has an inkling of the anger and sadness her birth experience evoked.
I think I would be better able to offer a nod towards homebirth as a viable choice if the women were really informed about what they are choosing to do – how birth can be extremely unpredictable.
Much of the comments stung because she doesn’t know how far I have come as a obstetrician. She doesn’t know I work SO hard. I keep thinking, “It doesn’t matter. It is never enough. I’m an obstetrician. Birth will never be pure until I am not there.”
Labels: midwifery
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